Well, enough hinting already!! The kickoff recipe is....
You're probably disappointed in the name! I've kept the name simple so that you can give it the name that seems to fit best for you (I'm not always this PC so don't get used to it!) - something like, Retro-diner Chocolate Ecstasy or I-can't-believe-it's-not-lite Pie! Whatever… just get creative!
And no, this will not be a creatively healthy version using silken tofu, or the kind my grandma made using marshmallows and other things that don't exist naturally in nature. This will be pull-out-all-the-stops, old-fashioned, retro-diner chocolate cream pie using straight-off-the-farm eggs, butter and cream, combined with the highest quality dark chocolate you can find from the deepest parts of Peru (or your grocery aisle). This is not for the faint of heart - truly! This is for those whose body's can take it and those whose soul's need it.
I cannot take any credit for this recipe, I'm simply passing it along. It is a recipe my brother pulled off the internet long ago. I’m not sure who should get the credit, but somebody ought to because it is fabulous AND easy!!
I have, however, made minimal changes allowing for what I have in the house…I've used 1% milk in place of whole milk and didn’t notice a huge difference, though the whole milk seems a bit silkier in texture. I've made it with or without the ovaltine and it is equally delicious! And I have made it on a graham cracker crust, as well as the chocolate teddy graham crust written below – both equally delightful!
For my dairy-allergic son, I have made a non-dairy version by skipping the ovaltine and the milk chocolate, increasing the dark chocolate to 7oz total, and substituting almond milk for milk, coconut milk from the can for the cream, and coconut oil or goat butter for the butter with great results. Coconut milk doesn’t whip up very well, unless you set it in the fridge to let the water separate from the cream – which takes about a week and I’m never that prepared - so he forgoes the cream on top. A small sacrifice to make!
I don't claim any health benefits from this pie. In fact, it is not the teeniest bit healthy, or wholesome, but when you eat healthy and wholesome 90% of the time, I think you can have your vices 10% of the time.
There is, however, one benefit - Pleasure! Simple pleasure; the pleasure of eating something rich when you have room in your belly for such a treat and not just the desire for it. Because, you WILL desire this pie! All the time!! But wait.... hold off.... and when all is at peace in your world, and you have a legitimate rumbly in your tumbly...then.... the time is right for you to take a sliver of chocolate pie topped high with whipped cream and chocolate shavings, and eat it scrumptiously slow, savoring every thrill from your taste buds, and the silky texture caressing your tongue. Enjoy this rich, perfectly sweet, yet just the right-amount-of-bitter chocolate as it lifts your spirits and alights in the sweet spots of your soul, and you will taste and see that God is good!!
9 oz box of chocolate teddy grahams
4 TBS butter, melted
Use food processor to grind those sweet little teddy bears into a fine powder. Add melted butter and whirl away until the mix resembles black sand.
Press mixture into a 9 inch pie pan and set in freezer until cool.
½ cup sugar
3 TBS Ovaltine - original
1 tsp salt
2 TBS corn starch
5 egg yolks
2 cups milk – 2% or 1% or whole
1/2 cup – heavy cream
5 oz dark chocolate (70%-85% cacao), coarsely chopped
2 oz milk chocolate, coarsely chopped
1 tsp vanilla
Mix sugar, Ovaltine, corn starch and salt in 2 qt sauce pan. Then whisk in the egg yolks until combined and resembling a thick paste.
Over medium-high heat, slowly whisk in the milk and cream. Bring to a boil, whisking constantly, and boil 30 seconds. I’m talking full-on rolling boil. The kind where you keep whisking but it’s still boiling! After 30 seconds of that, immediately remove from heat or you will have Sweetened Egg Scramble – you will not find that recipe on this blog anywhere!
Whisk in the chocolate and vanilla until melted and well combined. Let cool for 15 minutes. If a layer of “skin” forms over the top, simply whisk it away.
By this time, crust should be cool. Remove from freezer and pour filling into crust, scraping the pan clean with a plastic spatula – I dare you NOT to lick it!
Refrigerate for at least 4 hours. Then cover with whipped cream – recipe below – and sprinkle with bittersweet chocolate chips or grate a bittersweet bar over the top! This touch is optional but I find it to be the “cherry on top”, if you know what I mean!
1 cup heavy cream
2 TBS sugar
Beat together with a whisk on high until solid peaks form so that when you lift out the whisk, the peaks form and hold without slowly sinking down.
Heaven in a pie dish!
IF there is any left over, cover it and put it to bed!